Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

How AC coach is different from Sleeper - A whole new View



Remember, these kind of questions in your school and colleges exam. Difference between Garam Dal and Naram Dal (Social science). Difference between Acid, Bases and salts (9th Standard Science), Difference between line and line segment (Maths). Difference between Noun, Pronoun, Adjectives (Do I need to mention this subject? Anyways, English).

Boring Stuff.......Right? 

But let me tell you, Differences aren't always boring specially when it has nothing to do with textbooks. 

Now this post is all about how an A.C. coaches of typical Indian trains are different from sleeper ones. 

The one who truly inspired me to write this post is 'Dayodaya Express' and the noble cause for which we booked a seat for us was my only sister's wedding. Me, Papa, Di and Mummy were in A.C. coach while my three friends were in Sleeper, walking hand in hand with 6 million other people who travels in this class of coach everyday. Friend's affection and family's aggression left me oscillating between these two way apart chambers and gave me a chance to explore these two worlds.

(My last four posts were too small so i am trying to lengthen the things unnecessarily. Spamming will not be tolerated in comments. :-D)

Ans. 

*(Now don't tell me that you forgot the question, See the Heading).

1). Name:

So, the first difference or we can say huge difference between these two worlds are their names. Lend me your ears for 2 extra minutes before hurling Chappals at me. 

A.C. coaches - quite clear with name, well equipped with cooling machines, well enough to maintain a temperature around 20 degree Celsius. However, temperature totally depends upon the class of A.C. coach. Higher the class, lower the temperature. (Hey mathematicians! find out an answer for me. Why we call 1st A.c. higher class and 2nd, 3rd A.c. lower class. I thought 2,3 > 1. Never mind, absurd question, i said na, i am unnecessarily lengthening this post.) 

Sleeper -  Tricky, they don't call it Non-A.C. It's the other thing that A.C. coaches would give you a better sleepy night then shaky sleeper coaches but who cares, Sleepers are still pushing 4 million people into their dreams everyday.

2). Fans : 

Fans are unfortunately severely neglected in A.C. coaches. They work all day and night long, sprinkling borrowed air from air conditioner to every possible corner but it's Sleeper which has gives them their due. Here, they are the solo hero and only way to spawn forced air over sweating faces. If any of them would stop people will perform every ritual to bring it to life again. Not only this, if you are sleeping on upper birth then you could use that same fan top to keep your shoes, chappals or sandals along with smelly socks.(However, these fans would circulate this foul smell of socks too without discrimination but no complaints, people would think that smell must be coming from outside. :D)

3). Windows :

Has no purpose in Sleeper, sometimes just use to immunize people from hot 'looh'. In A.c. coaches, they seal what, people pay extra for.

4). Toilets :

They need a serious mention here. People in Sleeper coaches are really bad in target or it would be harsh to blame them. Shaky bogies might not let them concentrate to that small target and leave these toilets SMELLbound. 

A.c. has clean toilets with disinfectant liquids while sleeper coaches are deprived from both. (It implies people in A.c. are more prone to diseases than those in sleeper) :D

Now a days you would also find a board on doors of toilets requesting not to use them while train is in stand-by mode over railway station. See the irony! Indian mothers travelling in sleeper send her child to toilets only when Train is standing so that she doesn't has to wash his cloths covered in DIRTY SPRINKLES. :D 
Remember that bad target thing. Ha ha!!

5). Few other non sense Differences :

Sleeper coaches are beggar ridden. If you are travelling in this bogie then make sure that upper pocket of your wallet have few chillars otherwise you could be tease target of these beggars.

A.c. has no accommodation for these ticket-less, self employed passengers.

Mass in Sleeper aren't supposed to be as technological advanced as people in A.c. that's why latter has a laptop or mobile charging socket for every seat while former has just two sockets in one bogie near the gates.

The bars of ladder in A.c. are perfectly spaced and thus can easily push anyone to upper birth without much struggle. According to Railways, people in sleeper are either more athletic or has extra long legs as their ladder's bars are widely separated and one has to almost hop from one bar to other in order to ride the top.

Privacy??????? What the hell is this? Ha ha! welcome to curtain-less sleeper coaches. Presence of any kind of interrupt like curtain could curb the chances of sleeper people to discuss and criticize the government over burning issues.


Well, keeping aside these differences and all, trains are still the lifeline of Indian transport system as a whopping 18 million people travel by train everyday. 

Keep this Indian pulse alive, keep it clean. :)         

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Akbar, Birbal And Facebook (Bad combination,Great Confusion) Part - 1



"Hey Birbal, What you are doing with my Tablet for last half an hour?" asked Akbar. 


Birbal replied "Jahanpanah, I am creating your Facebook account".


Now what the hell is this Facebook? akbar asked


Birbal said, Jahanpanah, it is a kingdom networking site. Here you could keep a track on your "NaamaKool notorious Salim", I had already sent him the friend request. Not only this...............after a pause birbal whispered in Akbar's ears, "You can watch sunny Leone's hot videos too which Bairam Khan used to share shamelessly on Facebook. And one more thing, I liked the page of 'Khabar Din Bhar' on your behalf. Now there is no need of these useless khabaris who charges 50 gold coins just for telling you that "Whose dog peed on your Bed?"


"That's awesome but who told you about the Leone's stuff" akbar asked shyly. :D






"You never deletes your history.Give thank to god 'Din-e-Illahi' that your Tab didn't got the hands of Jodha otherwise you could be kicked out from your own kingdom" Birbal replied and Akbar started looking around him in order to ensure that nobody else heard it.


Time for a good Profile picture, so that people, who may know you, could recognize you, continued Birbal.


Akbar's voice went hoarse this time, Everyone knows me,I don't need a profile picture.


Birbal replied softly "Jahnpanah, few years ago you had stopped me from uploading your photo on shadi.com which kept you bachelor for years" (Although it's other thing that response was even more pathetic when photos were uploaded, birbal murmurs in his mind).


"Call shahi photographer" ordered Akbar. 


Cameraman came,photos got clicked,many of them,one after the other. Akbar tried every position,every style that his Zameer allowing him but photos that came didn't seemed to deserve even a single 'like' or 'comment'. 


Birbal thought "It is a big problem and if Akbar came to know that photos of  'Salim','Jodha' and his other rivals yielding over 100 likes and his photo had none, he may kill this poor photographer".


Finally a photo came out of shutterbug that had less bugs than others. Birbal uploaded the photograph after getting nod from Akbar. 


So jahanpanah, your profile is ready. Your login id is "akbar34@mughal.com" and password......birbal whispered "Ashutosh Gowarikar mast hai". Akbar noted both on a piece of paper and kept with him. 


A beep came after a shortwhile, the tablet was still in hands of Birbal. It was the first notification on Akbar's FB account.


"Maharana Pratap Singh (The Mughal Hater) commented on a photo of you.


Anxious birbal opened the photo. The comment reads :-


" LOLZ.............hahahahahahaha............Funny Face.............:D "


Birbal deleted the comment as soon as he read and liked the very same photo with a comment, "Nice Jhanpanah, You looking good".


Soon a second comment came from Maharana Pratap, 


"Hahahahahha...........Birbal,I must say......get your eyes cheaked.". 


Birbal deleted it too and feared that what would happen if Akbar read those type of  comments.


Akbar got irritated as his Tab was still lying in hands of Birbal and ordered, "Birbal, you had done what you had to do so now return my Tab".


Birbal nodded and returned it.


A broad smile came on the face of Akbar after looking at his profile. Birbal couldn't being able to figure out the exact reason behind the Akbar's smile and thought,it might be for the sense of advancement which Akbar is having after entering into the family of 'Zukerburg'.


Finally Birbal gave him the Sutra of sefety on Fb,"Like as many photos as you can,only then people would like yours.Don't click 'like','share' or 'comment' on any Leone's video no matter how much you'd liked them. Send friend request only to those you know, and don't call unwanted problems by flirting with queens of other Kingdom on chat and commenting irresponsibly on their photos like 'Mast lag rhi hai', 'Ati sundar mann mohini' etc. etc. Don't accept friend request of 'Jodha', it can curb your rights of enjoying independently even on FB".


Birbal left the 'Darbaar' leaving behind Akbar and his new account.






More on Tales of Akbar,Birbal and facebook in my next post.......Till then bbyee......:)