Thursday, August 16, 2012

Hey Listen, little brother! Soak No More....

I am in my morning assembly and our principle is roaring over us through mike "It's is our 66th Independence day children. 66 years ago, we got what, our freedom fighter dreamed of, INDEPENDENCE". I don't know what that mean. The real thing is, I lost mine on this same day. Today is the first b'day of my little pot of trouble, my brother, younger brother people say. You would think that I am little harsh for a 1 year old child but let me tell you the other side of the story. I bet, after listening to my story, you will donate in child relief fund for me.

That day I was happy and exited as I was going to have a member in the family who is smaller, both in age and size, than me. A member on whom i can rule and paste my orders, just like my parents and older brother used to, on me. He was the only source of saving my 'Leftover grace'. (Leftover Grace - I have lost most of my prestige as there is not even a single neighbor in front of whom i have never cried and there is hardly anyone left in my colony in front of whom my mother has never scolded me.) Now, I was going to be master of one member of my family. My YOUNGER BROTHER, who saw the lights of the day on 15th August. With his arrival our parents got blessed with we 3 brothers in the family, him (Just born), Me (5 year old), Elder brother (17 year old).

We took my momma and my little brother home the next day. Guest, relatives, neighbor etc. etc. kept on visiting our house (not home anymore) till next few days. I was the sole in charge of water and snack serving department. I had to serve both to each of them but nobody seemed interested appreciating me over my noble work. Instead, they were busy grasping a glimpse of my tiny brother who was lying well in his comfort zone, wrapped well by white baby towel, enjoying cushion. They were touching his cheeks, making weird expression and talking to him in the language of some other world. I seriously felt neglected for the very first time in my life and thus i lost my 'leftover grace' within few days of his arrival.

He has the record of peeing over me exactly 8 times without his Diaper, and it comes just after my mom on whom he has an unbreakable feat of peeing more than 100 times i think. There must be a conspiracy against me from both of my brothers as i have never seen him peeing over my eldest brother. 

During my winter breaks, i merely turned into a baby sitter. I had to make sure that he doesn't jump from bed to floor, i had to amuse him all day and whenever he cried i was accused for it. His taste of T.V. program has been peculiar since the day of his birth. He hate 'Tom and Jerry', he cries whenever Jerry bangs Tom's head against anything but he laughs while watching gun fights with dazzling bullets mindlessly piercing head of many which my elder brother likes too. Another prove of that conspiracy theory which my other two brothers have against me. It's been almost a year since i last watched a full episode of 'Tom and Jerry' or 'Dexter's Laboratory'.  I wonder if some day my mother give me order to change his Diapers too. 

This is not all, i somehow lost the love interest of my father as now he don't ask me about my school and studies. Instead, he first prefer to hug this brand new creature of my family and talk to him in some bizarre language and that 'little monster' could only respond him with his 'BLAB BLAB BLAA' and some other clueless words. 

Today we will celebrate 1st birthday of this nuisance creator. I am praying to god, to make him as mature as I was in my second year of birth. 

Hey listen little brother, stop soaking the part of love i deserve. So, soak no more!! :(    

My principal is still yelling over mike. His speech is only meant for the senior secondary student as i and my friends are still looking clueless about what he actually wants to convey. Its a kind request from my side to school authorities also. Don't put us in the things we can't soak. SOAK NO MORE! :)

[ This post is written for Indiblogger's Surf Excel Matic # SoakNoMore Contest ]

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

College Story : Love in college

After an unfortunate long break i finally return to my college story. I got two re-backs in my third semester back exams. Never mind, it has nothing to do with this segment of college story, take it as an information and please pray to god that someday, some company would hire me.

Coming on the topic, Love in college. Ah! old, boring and yes you can add another word, CREEPY. Believe me, I hate this word love, and true love????? Well i hate it a bit more. In India, the kind of status love is enjoying is phenomenal and the reason behind this can be melodramatic, over-romantic movies which are usually songs and tears ridden with heavily loaded dialogues which if somebody use in real life, he could have easily be the tease target. In these kind of movies, whenever a hero watches her love, a song plays and somehow they started dancing without any rehearsal but never mind, they will never miss a beat. One song and few dancing steps can last from 'Chandni chowk to China' or from 'Bombay to Bankok' or from 'Egypt to Switzerland'. There is atleast one sacrifice in the movie about which the opposite partner comes to know in climax. One fight is all you need to strengthen your love bond. Don't have enemies???? Hire them! Sensual scenes used to be too slow that it  would make you think that "may be the hero is not feeling manly enough". These kind of movies has been pumping the 'love soul' among the common fukin youngsters for last 100 years. (Cheers to 100 years of Indian cinema)   

I am saying a lot against love, but let me confess, i wasn't immune to this thing, specially during first few month of our college. It sounds little craky, but most of the boys seriously set their aim with hawk eye during their entrance in college years like " 1st Sem khatm hote hote ek na ek ko to ptayenge". One of my friend named 'Shaleen' (CS Branch) even gave me a new kind of gyan "Bhai ladki ko ptane ka sbse sahi waqt hota hai 1st semester. Iske baad to bhai saari book ho jati hain. Fir to you only left on the mercy of their break-ups." (Ask shaleen if i am wrong..:D) Keeping aside those tips and theories, i was busy grasping the bunch of morons with whom i have to unfortunately spend my next four years. But at the same time, i couldn't say that there was any kind of deficiency of 'Ladki rupi mohmaayaa' in our IT class. Although according to few surveys conducted by students of 1st sem it was found that, in terms of hottest girls our class stood somewhere after 'EIC' and 'CS' Branch. 'CS' topped the list and EIC with their few ace cards stood second.

There is hardly any hot or average girl left in my class, i was never attracted to. "Oh! that girl should be my girlfriend, oh! she's hot. OMG! she's so beautiful." these kind of thoughts like an unruly hound kept crossing my mind.

The first time i think when things gone fishy was our Engineering Drawing class (sorry for using the word 'fishy'. People say that girls has the monopoly over this word.). I was troubling over sheet of paper and was unable to draw alphabets in it's right dimension. A girl of my class then came to my rescue. We were not friends then but still don't know why she took the pain of drawing those for me. "Ye pyar nhi to aur kya hai." BULLSH*T..This never came into my mind but for a brand new college student, a girl who is not even his friend, is never less than an angel who came to draw sheet for him without being asked for help.

Few days went only with a formal hi, hello etc. I desperately wanted her phone number, simply to give things a push. (Don't take it the other way.) With all hook and crook, I finally got her number. Needless to say, we started chatting which never used to last for more than 1 or 2 hour. I remained formal and she too. My introvert kind of attitude never allowed me to talk to her in college but still there were rumors that we are the so called couples. Hence, this period earned me few as*holes who kept interrogating over my commitment with her which was never there. 

Days passed and her craze too (Although there was nothing like craze but 'kuch kuch hota hai wali feeling' was no doubt, wandering over me earlier.) I stopped responding to her messages and started avoiding her all of sudden. I don't know if she had started liking me or not but there was just a flux of attraction in me for her that had invaded my mind earlier. With slipping sand of time, whatever was there, got diminished. These non happening things weren't the end of my love drama. Go ahead!!

I had witnessed a lot of morons of my class getting committed according to their own status, few with girls of my own class, while few tried somewhere else and BINGO!! My own fast friend was flipping the girls like game of card, but what all i got was attention of those i never wanted to get attention from. Life is pretty bore without any hiccup. So here's the saga of one more HICCUP. 

I was with my few extra notorious bunch of friends in 'Lifestyle'. One girl there was looking at me without a blink in her eye (Probably the case of weak eyesight). They insisted me to go and talk to her but i refused, due to that same introvert attitude. This made them a free bird to tighten comments on my attitude or shyness whatever you say. One of my closest friend gave me her support which in disguise was the bottle of venom for me. She announced "Ashish will make a girlfriend possibly till the end of this month. It's a bet". I was in unusual trouble, whether to support her or make an easy way for me. Bet finally turned to me without my actual participation but losing that bet could have dumped me to rags. It seems strange but what i decided is to propose some girl. What i thought was "If she would accept, all "BALLE BALLE" and if she doesn't, I have to fool my friends somehow". (I too wanted to go for my first propose and i never considered the fact what could happen after that.)

One of my cousin came and and created a havoc. He sent a message to a girl 'Sonali' (name changed) with whom i was formerly chatting with. "Can we take our friendship to the next level??" This is what he wrote in that message. That message costs 10 paise and one whole year of embarrassing life in college. My cousins are pot of troubles. Whenever they come, they leave me clueless. This time wasn't an exception, I was screwed and the thing i was fearing from happened the following day. She came to me and asked the meaning of that message which was never sent by me. (Although the meaning was quite clear from that same message but still, SHE WAS A GIRL and that's why i like this song 'Wo dekhne mein kaisi seedhi sadi lagti, wo bolti ki wo to kuch nhi samajhti, andar se kitni tez hai'. :D) I had no answer to that question and what i thought was "now she is going to feel like i had proposed her, so why not to take a try by actually proposing her" and with this weird thought i called her to library and said what i shouldn't. She clearly said 'NO' as expected and i left with no other option. I lost the bet but fortunately god saved me from that psycho girl. 

She seriously had beaten the 'DHOL'  in college and girls hostel that 'Ashish' had proposed me. This is what happen when you "Do more and think less". It was really embarrassing for me as I was accused for proposing an awkward, offbeat and HMT (Hindi Medium Types) girl. (Sorry, but this what she is..:-P)

Some stories have no end and those stories include mine too. More girls came and left, none made any sense, probably because i didn't made sense to them. In one more incident when i was boozing with my friend 'Ashwarya' and another pot of trouble 'Mayank' (Cousin), he (mayank) sent a lot of messages to a girl of my class and kept on proposing her till morning. What she replied to those messages, i never know but later, i got messages from her that she cried all night long and she was not expecting this from the friend like me blah! blah!. Let me tell you one thing reader, tears of Girl do not made them over-emotional, they just use these tears as their strongest weapon to weaken the opposite sex. Boys only use them only in their childhood and then forget it.(They don't have good memory like girls). So where i was, yes on that girl who cried whole night. Although what is there to cry when a girl's good friend is proposing her. SKIP IT! We can't understand. Now don't ask me what happened further as i don't want to replicate those horrible memories in words. 

That's all guys. I know this post went even miserable than my love life but i can assure you that when i clear my those two re-backs i would write a better one. Believe me if it makes sense. 

Hasta Pronto!!!!!!